i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
