covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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