I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just had sex bonerless
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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