He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
