dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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