I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
