before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
