If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
