Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
