Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
