But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
