dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
