as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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