I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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