That's intense
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it was like eating out sand paper
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
