He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
