Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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