He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
