I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
