it wasn't lemon gatorade
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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