what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
