So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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