as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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