But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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