Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
