She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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