And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
