I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
BRING THE BAGELS
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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