Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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