I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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