When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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