I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
