Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
