fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
