you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
