ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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