Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
