Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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