just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
