David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
