I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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