what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Will exercising make me less horny?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize