Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
