i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
