i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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