I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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