i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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