dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
