apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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