Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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