id be glad to
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
